


Always

by nattiecake08



Category: Grantchester (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Insecurity, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-10
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:53:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27455278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nattiecake08/pseuds/nattiecake08
Summary: Daniel is feeling insecure, and Leonard worries.
Relationships: Leonard Finch/Daniel Marlowe
Comments: 10
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [incoherentpiffler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/incoherentpiffler/gifts).



> For Isobel, for inspiring me with your fics, for helping me with ideas and for appreciating my headcanons. <3

Leonard had always been an overthinker. And so, when faced with Daniel being distant and reserved the past few weeks, he could only think the worst. He desperately tried to remember what he could have said, what he could have done, or not done, to elicit such a reaction.

They were supposed to go to the University Ballet Club’s Michaelmas performance the previous night; Daniel had free tickets after photographing their dress rehearsals. He had rung Leonard saying that he didn’t feel up to it, and he was really sorry, but he needed a quiet night in.

For the life of him Leonard didn’t know what Daniel was feeling. He just wouldn’t talk to him. When he had tried to ask what was wrong, Daniel had just said it would pass.

Last week when Leonard had tried to kiss him goodnight he had shied away. _I’m sorry love, I’ve got an awful headache brewing._ He rolled over, facing away from Leonard, and Leonard was left awake with a nauseating dread that perhaps Daniel had simply _gone off_ him, was no longer attracted to him, no longer _loved_ him. He had tried to push those fears away. _Don’t be ridiculous, he just has a headache._

But now Daniel was avoiding seeing him altogether.

That is how he had ended up here, knocking at his boyfriend’s door on a grey and drizzly Thursday afternoon in October.

“Room for a little one?” he asked, gesturing to his hessian bag of supplies.

He was awarded with a small smile that dulled his nerves a little, and Daniel dutifully took his coat and hung it up as he unpacked.

“I’ve brought a jigsaw puzzle to keep us distracted from the gloomy weather, and something sweet for my sweet,” Leonard said, presenting a box of pastel fondant fancies, hand decorated with sugar paste flowers. “Oh, and I thought this might help you sleep if you keep it next to bed,” he added, handing Daniel a sprig of dried lavender tied with a lilac ribbon.

“Thank you, Leonard,” Daniel replied, pulling him into a warm hug, “You’re so thoughtful.” Leonard melted into the embrace. He’d missed that touch. All too soon Daniel was pulling away, and Leonard stared into the growing space between them, swallowing hard.

They spent a good while breaking the back of the 1000-piece jigsaw, a simple woodland scene punctuated with a family of badgers. The embers of the fire provided a dim glow and they shared a tartan blanket over their knees. The radio played quietly from the kitchen. _So we don’t have to make conversation,_ Leonard thought.

“I’ll make us some tea,” Daniel offered as he got up.

Leonard sat, thoughts swirling and catastrophizing. A terrifying notion struck him against his will. What if Daniel was seriously ill, what if that was what he was hiding? He was snapped out of his trance when the photographer placed a tray in front of him bearing two cups of tea and two fondant fancies.

He stared at the china mug dotted with blue hydrangeas, thinking back to when Daniel had gifted it to him two years ago so he would always have his own if he popped round for tea. “You’re always welcome, Leonard. Mi casa es tu casa,” Daniel had said, laughing as Leonard smothered him with kisses. The simple present had represented so much, a promise of a shared future, a _home._

They forked into their cakes carefully, a heavy silence weighing down on them, thicker than the blanket they huddled under. Normally moments of quiet like these were companionable and comforting between the two of them. Now Leonard just felt awkward and scared.

He glanced at his lover from over the brim of his cup. Daniel’s eyes were downcast and focused on a spot of carpet, knee jiggling with nervous energy. Leonard placed his cup down deliberately, and took Daniel’s free hand.

“Please tell me what’s wrong, darling?” he asked gently.

Daniel’s eyes shot up with guilty surprise. “Nothing’s wrong, I’m fine,” he said, offering a small, empty smile.

Leonard shook his head and tried again, “We both know that’s not true, Daniel.”

Daniel rubbed his eyes tiredly, shoulders drooping. “I haven’t been feeling like myself,” he confessed quietly. “I’m just rather down lately.”

“I’ve been told I’m quite a good listener.” Leonard smiled encouragingly. “Part of the job description.”

He reached to caress Daniel’s cheek, but Daniel turned away with a sigh. Leonard drew his hand back with a start, as if he’d been stung.

“It’s me, isn’t it?” he asked, voice rising in panic. “Please tell me if I’ve upset you,” Leonard said desperately.

“Oh Len, you haven’t done anything wrong,” Daniel said quickly, eyes wide.

“Then why can’t you bear to have me touch you? It feels like… like you’ve lost your feelings for me,” Leonard whispered unsteadily.

“Christ, of course I haven’t! I adore you more than anything in this world. It’s not you, it’s me. I’m worried you’ll… lose interest in _me,_ ” Daniel explained sadly.

“Why on Earth would you think that?” Leonard asked in confusion.

Daniel scratched the back of his neck, searching for the right words. “I – it’s my birthday in a few weeks,” he said simply.

Leonard stared at him blankly. “I know it is, the 28th October.”

Daniel’s cheeks had reddened with embarrassment. “You know how old I’ll be…” he trailed off with a pregnant pause.

Leonard eyed him with confusion. “Yes…?”

“It’s been bothering me a lot, recently,” Daniel sighed. “I’m years older than you, and I’ll be turning another year older, and… I’m worried you won’t want to be stuck with an old man like me,” he admitted, eyes swimming.

Leonard just sat there agape. Then he seized his lover in a kiss, deep and purposeful, as if he could convey every feeling he had with the touch of his lips, every word he wanted to express with the taste of his mouth. He pulled back, letting their wet cheeks press together.

“Do you see?” he murmured gently. “You’re the only person I have ever loved, Daniel Marlowe. And ever will. My _one_. Don’t you ever doubt that again, okay?” He was awarded with a genuine smile then, and wiped a stray tear away with his thumb.

Daniel took both his hands in his own. “I’ve been so stupid, I’m so sorry Leonard.”

“Don’t ever apologize for your insecurities; I just wish you had told me how you were feeling sooner so I could have helped,” Leonard said. “I’m sorry if I don’t make you feel like the most gorgeous creature on the planet every moment of every day.”

Daniel dropped a kiss on the curate’s knuckle. “I shouldn’t have pushed you away, or made you feel like you had any reason to doubt my affections, mignonette. I didn’t even think how you must have been feeling,” he frowned.

"I missed you," Leonard admitted in a sniffled whisper.

"Oh my angel," Daniel cooed, arm tight around his shoulders, "I missed you too. I love you so much, Leonard! I'm sorry!" 

“It’s alright, really. You weren’t thinking straight. But age is just a number, love. You’ll be a few weeks older than you are today, and I’ll have been blessed with a best friend for every single one of those days.” Leonard said.

“So, you’re a few years older than me. I have been gifted with your maturity, your experience, your kindness. For the first time in my life I feel safe. And that’s all thanks to you.

“Goodness, you have more energy than me! You’ve shown me how to enjoy life in a completely different way. I’ve found someone who is as happy to spend a rainy day working on a jigsaw with me as he is taking me dancing at the clubs in Brighton!” he laughed lightly.

“How did I ever get so lucky?” Daniel beamed in relief.

“Divine intervention? Besides, I have as many lines as you,” Leonard blushed.

Daniel leaned over and ever so softly pressed a kiss to the corner of his eye. “I love your laughter lines, how they crinkle when you smile in your sleep or taste something sweet.”

“Wrinkles are a sign of a life well lived, Mum used to say,” Leonard smiled.

“Will you still want me, when my hair is grey and my steps are slow?” Daniel asked, but there was an impish glint in his expression. 

“Always,” Leonard replied sincerely. 

Leonard watched the raindrops race each other down the window as the wind whistled through the darkening sky. He drew the curtains, turning around to survey the cosy scene in front of him, fire crackling, lamps glowing, Daniel pottering around the kitchen. His chest felt full with warmth, safely tucked away from the burgeoning storm outside.

Daniel stuck his head out the door, “I’m afraid I haven’t got much in, but I can heat us up some soup?”

“That sounds perfect,” Leonard replied. His heart skipped a beat when he heard the strains of a familiar melody on the radio.

“It’s our song,” Daniel remarked as Leonard joined him in the little kitchen.

Leonard grinned and held out his hand. “Would the young gentleman do me the honour of sharing this dance?”

Daniel nodded, eyes shining, “It would be my pleasure,” and was at his side in a moment.

Leonard wrapped an arm snuggly around his boyfriend’s waist, and the photographer let his head rest on his shoulder, their hands clasped. They swayed slowly, right there in the dimly lit galley kitchen, Leonard humming along with Elvis’ crooning in Daniel’s ear. He dropped a kiss to his forehead, singing the last verse softly:

_Love me tender, love me true_

_All my dreams fulfilled_

_For my darling I love you_

_And I always will._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An alternative/additional ending...

“Well, there was nothing tired about that performance,” Leonard purred from where he rested his cheek on Daniel’s naked stomach. He toyed his hand through his lover’s damp chest hair.

“You weren’t so bad yourself, my little firecracker!” Daniel smiled contentedly. He brushed a freed curl off of Leonard’s sweaty forehead, tracing his fingers down his spine and eliciting a pleasured shiver in response. 

“We fit together, you and I, like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle,” Leonard said, reaching up to catch the photographer’s lips in his own.

“The other half of my heart,” Daniel murmured, “Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ... because I wanted to officially end with romantic schmush but also had this slightly more erotic picture in mind.

**Author's Note:**

> I was wondering how old Leonard and Daniel are supposed to be... 
> 
> Al Weaver is 39, but Series 1 Leonard seemed so much younger and more naive than 33, and was just starting his curacy.
> 
> Similarly, Oliver Dimsdale has just turned 48, (boy looks good for his age!) but I think Daniel is younger than that?
> 
> Anyway, I’m pretty sure it’s canon that the already divorced Daniel is older than Leonard, and that’s where this idea came from.
> 
> Because both our boys have insecurities, but they adore each other so much 💗
> 
> Elvis’ ‘Love Me Tender’ came out in 1956. I know it’s cheesy, but I love it, and I like to think Leonard would have too. And as it came out around the time they officially got together, you’ll excuse me the headcanon that it’s their song. 🥺
> 
> Also, this is at least the second time I’ve mentioned them going dancing at Brighton’s secret gay clubs. I definitely want to write that at some point but I’m worried it’ll lack historical accuracy. Any tips would be greatly appreciated!
> 
> So I added a very, very short second chapter which has an additional ending... it didn’t quite fit the vibe I wanted for the main drabble but take a look if you like post-coital snuggles.


End file.
